I don’t understand other people sometimes. Perhaps it is merely a lack of experience or a product of circumstance, but I simply don’t get why people let anxiety rule their lives.
If I study for a test, and spend virtually all of my free time studying, why would I worry about the actual test? I’ve put in the maximum amount of effort in preparation. There is literally nothing I could have done to be more prepared, so any “could be”s, or “could have been”s escape the realm of reality.
If I have family coming over, and some people in one part of the family don’t like people in the other part, the best I can do is try to make everybody enjoy themselves as much as possible. I’m not going to try to change their behaviors or personalities, that simply won’t happen. It may be an uncomfortable night or weekend, but in three days it will be over. I’m not even going to remember this specific situation in a year’s time, so why lose sleep over it?
I realize I fundamentally don’t have this issue because I’ve never struggled with the same issues. I’ve never really had trouble on a math test (at least, not until I had taken an AP Physics class in high school… *shudder*…) and all of my family usually likes each other. I realize I am supremely lucky in those regards, but it has made it hard to truly understand the issues some people face.
Insecurity is another big one. I tend to make much easier friends with girls, and in my experience, most of them are unhappy with themselves, either physically or mentally. I’m not saying that’s bad by any means. After all, I believe everybody should always be pushing to better themselves. But what I’m referring to is that quite a large number have a lower self esteem or outlook on life because of something they cannot control. I think that’s insane.
Obviously it is just me that doesn’t understand. If millions are people are struggling with an issue, my lack of understanding doesn’t diminish the fact that it is still a problem. I’m not going to be able to empathize with a malnourished child because I’ve never been a malnourished child. But at the same time I’m not going to pretend as though that problem doesn’t exist. (Tomorrow I’ll probably talk a little bit about how you could maybe improve oneself, but since this isn’t a Life post I don’t feel inclined to do so now.)
If something is out of my control, I don’t get anxious about it. I prepare the best I can, and whatever happens, happens. No scenario is ever that bad, and I know that the mind makes things out to be way worse than they are. Odds are, if you’re planning a conversation with somebody, good or bad, your worst fears regarding the conversation will be outside the realm of possibility. I’m sure it goes without saying, yet isn’t something people would think about, that you can easily imagine a situation that is worse than what could actually happen. And your mind does that all the time. And that’s why, if and when you’re ever torturing somebody, you let them imagine what you will do to them, instead of stating what you will do to them. It will scare them far more.
Not that I’ve ever tortured anybody before. It’s a bad business practice.