Out of a Rocky Patch (And Making Excuses)

So, the funny thing about quitting work is that my life has probably gotten more stressful as a result of it. I was saying that as soon as I had no job I could spend more time writing Dreamscape, but now that finals are approaching I’m saying that as soon as I’m done with school I’ll have time. I’m still trying to keep up with one chapter a week, but I haven’t written anything for it in ten days! I do have an excuse, though. After five hundred words a day (and once a week extending one of those to, on average, about a thousand words for my weekly story) it’s quite a lot to write an extra two thousand or more over the course of a week.

But in the end, I still think that it is an excuse. I’ve been playing games more, which is fine, but I’ve found it easier to do that then write, even when I have a lot of time on my hands, which is not. But, as I’ve said, quite a lot has happened recently.

My sister was over for a few days, so that has taken up some good chunks of evenings, mornings, and everything else. Having four boys will do that. I don’t know how she gets through her days with that much to handle every day of every week! On top of that, I have finals. I have to write two portfolios, along with cover letters and whatnot, and I had a research paper to write and a presentation to do out of it, and an exam and everything like that! To me, though, all that is less stressful than time consuming. I probably stress more out of finding the time to do it comfortably than I do worrying about producing results.

And, lastly, personal things have been happening. The pain of loss (or the threat of it, at least) has been circulating all around me lately, and I’ve had to learn how to handle it from a third party standpoint. I’m never comfortable with being a friend that says “There, there” while patting somebody’s back. I need to feel as though I actually help people when they need it.

So, probably as a result of all of that, I’ve been stressing out over my position in my improv troupe. I was talking to my old coach about how everything was turning out, and he reminded me that in the end, improv acting is all about the comedy and entertainment. If I’m not enjoying it, then I’m doing something wrong. Essentially, I need to loosen up.

And now that everything is starting to wind down and resolve itself, I feel as though I actually can. I won’t come up with excuses for not writing Dreamscape anymore. In fact I plan on writing a chapter today! We’ll see how things turn out.

If you guys are stressing out a bit too much, then relax! I think I said (very recently) that it isn’t how much stress you have but how you react to it. Don’t let it control you, man!

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