When I look back to the days where I was super depressed, I’m always astonished at how, realistically, it wasn’t very long ago at all. My life has done a complete 180 in the span of a year. So I wonder, how did I do it?
I’ve pinned a lot of it down to the fact that I’ve just made a conscious effort to start enjoying myself. With having my own money to spend, I’m able to just stop and get a Starbucks. Yeah, I know I’m getting ripped off, but its the fact that I can do nice things for myself that help. I’ve started reading and writing more, and I’ve stopped putting obligations on myself that don’t really benefit me.
I’m not doing things I can’t handle. On this website I had decided to write the equivalent of 500 words a day. The problem with that is that I could not come up with interesting enough stories to write that consistently, so it became a chore to try. I wasn’t enjoying this.
This blog is pretty much the same thing. It has virtually no limitations. I can write about whatever the heck comes to mind. In a sense. It just so happens that it fits into a small number of categories: me, life advice, and things I experience (reviews). Most people like talking about themselves, and in a sense every category is me talking about myself.
Anyways, as one of my favorite YouTubers, CGPGrey says, “I measure success by what percent of my time I have control over”. I largely agree with this sentiment. I hated high school because I never spent any of it focusing on me, even with the time I had to spare. Even many of the games I would play were because other people were playing them, not necessarily because I enjoyed them. College has given me choice through both the times I can spend learning and what I can spend learning. My job has given me the choice of what I want to buy and spend my real free time on, at the cost of free time.
So, in short, I just took a deep breath and started enjoying myself. I had planned on taking fifteen units per semester and have my Associate’s in one year’s time (not even relaxing during the summer), but if I did that I wouldn’t be able to breathe. Breathing is good. I’m pretty sure nine out of ten doctors recommend doing it on a daily basis. Success will come later. Start making a habit of doing the things you enjoy now. Little things that actually bring you to peace. You know, like writing a blog. It doesn’t cost you a whole lot. Five hundred words rarely takes over ten minutes of my time every day, and nobody else reads it. But that’s okay. That isn’t the point. The point is, I enjoy writing these and I love the fact that I’m enjoying writing. It’s a luxury I’ve never had before.