So I just survived three full shifts of work. Eight hours of peek hours during the weekend means maximum stress for me, and I had to deal with it three days in a row this week, because that’s not exhaustive or anything.
But I made it. Friday it was pouring so hard it was enough to soak somebody from dry to dripping in a solid minute. I had to call in the cavalry and get heavy snow boots because the rain gutters in the parking lot were several feet wide and a foot deep in parts.
The next day it was so busy that as soon as I clocked in I had four urgent things to do. I didn’t even have enough time to breathe and pick up my equipment until I had been there over and hour.
It never really lets up, and even if you’re good at the job it’ll just be seen as a sign that you need more work. People are nice, but it is the distant sort of nice that you reserve for people you don’t actually want to talk to.
Today somebody honked at me in the parking lot because I stopped moving. I guess they didn’t understand that in a parking lot, if an object stops moving it isn’t against the law to just go around it. There are no lanes in a parking lot.
So, I’ve stated previously that I am a very non-confrontational person. But after months of working tirelessly in a physically demanding job in retail no less, even my patience has worn thin. People say that you should never quit a job until you have the next one secured, but this job was the second time I’ve ever gone through the interviewing process, and my work experience will only make it easier to find a new one. I don’t really care anymore. I will no longer accept minimum wage when I’m working so hard, so when reviews come up in April, I am almost positive I will be getting a raise. But I doubt the raise will put me up to a pay I deem acceptable, so I’ll probably still quit. We will see when the time comes.
But despite all this, I’m not saying that I have a terrible life or anything dramatic like that. I’m merely pointing out the fact that I have zero free time these days, and for as hard as I work every day, I don’t even get $1000/month. It hasn’t really been worth it for a long time, but I’ve held on to the fact that some day it could be better and if I work hard today I’ll get more out of it tomorrow. But corporations seem to care far more about how their customers see them than how they treat their employees, so I no longer have any interest in giving them as much effort as I have in the past. I don’t really get any respect out of it, at least not the respect I feel I deserve.
I don’t even realistically need the money, it’s more so I can spend money when I want to on more frivolous things and not feel guilty that I didn’t work for the money I’m giving up. I’ve done my part now. Some of my friends are getting paid quite a bit for far easier jobs, which is yet another factor. In the end, right now I’m working towards being a better and more well rounded person, and I think I’ve gotten my fill with this experience. I want to start spending some of my free time on become a better writer now.
In the past, I’ve made unrealistic goals for writing when I didn’t want to, but this point of my life is the most satisfied I’ve been with my writing career in a very long time. Except I can’t use that because I don’t have the time. I need to change that lest my feelings toward writing change once more.